Interrupting regularly scheduled narcissism

First, Gwen Stefani wanted everyone to spell out bananas. Now she wants us to start yodeling.

America, Gwen Stefani is bad for you.

Love, I am going to get a cheesecake.

Considered calling this post "Dangerous curves ahead" but thought that was too easily flipped into a girl-blogger pre-Thanksgiving calorie warning. Which this post is not. It is, however, abstractly about boys, which is something those girl-bloggers never touch on. Whew. That was a close one.

Dear This Time of Year,
Do not let me listen to Jeff Buckley. Do not let me remember things inaccurately. Do not let me wallow. Do not let me reminisce about emotions that did not exist. Do not let me fall into cliches. Do not let me understand that writing this post is plunging head on into cliche-land. Do not let me over analyze. Do not let me over emphasize.

Do let me know that a change in temperature is not an excuse for self-pity. Do let me remember why I always say this is my favorite time of year. Do let me know you have nothing to do with any of this.

This is me simultaneously remembering what I want and knowing that it doesn't matter.

Weakest and most tactless liveblogging ever

So here's the plan for the next Survivor: beautiful people vs. ugly people. Not beauty vs. brains, just the genetically blessed vs. the genetically forsaken. Ooooooorrr maybe, hair color! Or geographical locations within America itself: New Englanders vs. Midwesterners. I think there are a myriad of unexplored options here.

I am currently watching The Amazing Race instead of learning anything about Kant. The beautiful people are winning. And the beautiful man just said his mother was the one who helped him through his drug addiction. Awww. I'm not kidding... the current leaders actually have perfect bone structure. Although... there is a relatively attractive couple in last place right now. C'mon guys, you're letting your people down. Also, AOL must have shelled out the dough for that product placement. The former drug addict is moisturizing now. "Being polite sucks some times" says average looking dude. There was just a commercial for this season's Survivor. I saw white people and Asians.

Cross-country mud-skiing? Are we serious here Finland? Pretty boy's stuck in mud. His moisturizer's probably not doing him much good now. The relatively attractive couple is in third now. But they didn't make the train with the others. Step it up. Host-man says "One team member must immerse themselves in the dark and clostraphobic world of the Finnish mining industry." Who knew. Yes, blonde girls, it is very much like a ride at Disneyworld. "Now grab a pokey-thing." It's so phallic, what with the earth penetration and whatnot. Or maybe it's just a metaphor for the return to the womb. A Finnish womb. The couple is lost. I think it's over for them. A "minor incident?" I think average dude just made a joke. Oh man, dude in couple is making a comeback. Don't wimp out pretty boy. What? Keep racing? Holy crap.

Liveblogging when you don't know anyone's name is the best idea ever.

Overheard: meta

Homeless man at Starbucks. Topics range from electronic voting to Muslims to Harry Potter. Then this.

"They weren't thinking inside the box. Or outside the box. They were thinking about the box. Most importantly-what is the shape of the box. [incoherent mumblings]."




(i cut my hair. change is for the better. "hope and nostalgia stand equally in the way of authentic experience.")